Kids behave differently from a young age. Some are introverted, some are shy, some love socializing.
Most of them are inherited. Their parents behaved the same way as kids, and their grandparents before them.
Grandparents usually know how to handle inherited behaviors. The grandmother will say “I tried this with your dad, and here’s what worked.” Or “here’s what my mom told me that works.” This knowledge is passed down through generations.
Talk to your spouse’s parents about how they raised their kid. You’ll get surprisingly good insights.
Some kids are deficient in salt, so they crave salty foods. Others are deficient in other nutrients because their body metabolizes them differently. These nutritional needs are also inherited.
If you try to feed your kid the way your family raised you — it might not work. The kid may have inherited the other parent’s nutritional needs. Look at family history on both sides to figure out what their body wants.
Donor-raised families face a real challenge here. When a family uses an anonymous donor, they’ve lost all generational knowledge tied to those inherited traits.
They have to figure out everything from scratch. The grandma says “feed this, feed that” — nothing works because the kid has traits from someone else entirely. The kid might need completely different feeding, a different approach to behavior. The knowledge chain is broken.
If you’re going the donor route, get a known donor. Not to co-parent, but to occasionally ask about their family history — what behaviors ran in the family, what foods they thrived on. It gives you a much better shot at raising the kid well.